I am being convicted…

When this happens I have learned the best way to address the conviction is to deal with it, share it with someone who can keep you accountable in healing or changing what is wrong. I need to deal with something that has been an on going battle with in myself for a really long time.

[youversion]Psalm 139[/youversion]

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

I have clung on to this Psalm for Madeline and I have whispered it to her over and over and over. I feel that Madeline has an amazing self confidence, she exudes joy from the inner most parts of her. She knows that God created her wonderfully. She is the Lord’s girl. They have a special bond. Something Josh has told me over and over is “Your kids will be who you tell them they are.” I have told her that she was perfect, she was knit together by the Master perfectly. She knows this well.

This is my conviction… I have a son… and I have never told him that… I have whispered many other things and a lot that I am ashamed of. My son has been becoming who I have told him he is in this last few months. Shame on me. My heart is shattering.

[youversion]Proverbs 13:3[/youversion]
Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin

My husband is a wise man many of you know that. So today I am telling you watch your words, all of them. Each one that comes out has meaning. When you guard your mouth you really are preserving your child’s life. Whisper encouraging prophecy to your kids. Watch your kids grow.  I have some work to do. I have a little boy that need to hear that God made him perfect. The Lord knows each hair on his head and most of all that I am so proud and blessed to be his mommy. Don’t wait, you never know what tomorrow will bring.