I am going to cling to this promise. But in order to do so I am going to have to let go of some things. Let me explain, I am mad at God. Yes, I totally just said that… I don’t want to be… I need to let go of this rage. The thing is I feel like he has abandoned my daughter. If it was me if I was the one in constant pain, I would be able to accept “God’s Plan”. What my spirit is having a really hard time with is accepting the fact that His plan could include Minnie enduring pain for the rest of her life. I hate the thought, I wish I could take her pain away, I want a miracle.
My heart keeps going back to Mary, Jesus’s mom. I wonder if she was at the feet of the cross wondering if God had “forgotten” her child. I wonder if she felt abandoned? Mary had to sit and watch her child endure pain, and die. She could not fix it. I can image that just like all of us moms she would of taken his place in a heart beat. But that was not God’s plan. God’s plan for Jesus was incredible, but in the moments of torturous pain did Mary understand? We all know the rest of the story… but at the time Jesus’s mom did not. A miracle, I can see the relief on Mary’s face when Jesus arose from the dead. I can see her praising the Lord.
So how do I let go of my hurt, anger, sorrow? It should be simple I have to have Faith that God is going to do above anything I could ever think or hope. I have to trust that the Lord is going to give more abundantly to my child than I could ever ask. Can I do it? Can I let go and let God? I am going to try… I am going to place Minnie’s pain in his hands… at his feet, and rest in Him.
My Mommy friends with children that are enduring life, please walk with me, try to trust that our Lord has a plan for our children. Choose Faith today, and lets see the amazing things God is going to do through the suffering of our children. Just look at the amazing things that happened through the suffering of His Child.