I am like the third little pig who built his house out of bricks… It is easier to put up a brick wall and keep it up then to blow it down Right? I know this is something the Lord wants me to work on but it is the hardest thing for me to do. Let people in and keep them there. I have let people in but after a while I kick them out… I have issues I understand, I just am not sure what to do to fix them. I was on the phone briefly today with Minnie’s Sunday school teacher and I told her the same thing… I think the problem is, and this might just be my cop out… but really, I think I am trying to protect my heart from making more friends to just up and move to a new state and have yet more “phone” friends.
Now don’t get me wrong my bestest friend and I are going to solve all the worlds problems each and everyday on the phone. REALLY we are. I just know if the president would call us the USA would be better off!!!! I swear we have it all figured out. I absolutely love my social phone life I would not have survived this last 10 years with out it!! I am not kidding with out my social phone life, my house would not be clean, the laundry would not be done, dishes would be dirty, and I would be a very sad and lonely housewife! This is a sad but true fact of my life….
Lucky for me God blessed me with Josh who is the most amazing hubby best friend in the world. Who I love to spend time with. Sometimes I think back to being 12 and meeting him and I feel like I have no begining without him. I think about every Wednesday night at Church… winter retreats…date nights at DQ in the old jeep..his goofy grin…purple hair…Or him and his friends sneaking into the 8th grade dance…. Or him taking me to homecoming…. or the first time we held hands…. our first kiss… the night he proposed…. our wedding day… our honeymoon… then moving to Portland…. then Tyler…. then moving home…. then Minnie…. then moving to Washington… then moving to Texas and now.
I know I can let people in I did it in Washington and made the most amazing connection and a best friend for life. I let people in in Medford and the women there will always be my guiding light home. Now Texas I have to let them in and keep them….
Lord show me how to be the right kind of friend, thank you for my neighbors without them I would be lost, help me show you to them in a real way each day.
Are you still five generations when one of you is walking with the Lord? I have been asking myself this for five months now. My whole life I have been one of something with this group of women. Most of my life has been one of four, till the magic moment when Minnie entered the “pack” and we became a set of five. The unspoken bond that we have carried because we are the what the family calls “the five pushy babes”.
Last night I was making Christmas ornaments for my family out of my Great Grandmas jewelry. I guess that’s why I have been thinking about her for days now. Great Grandma lived each day I can remember in pain… but never complained, always had a kiss ready, always ready to cook a meal for anyone or whip up a batch favorite cookies.
But the thing I remember the most is how she loved my Great Grandpa. She loved him with such passion it hurts to think that they are apart. She in the last years of her life was in a home, but when she would see him would light up and say “there is my handsome man”. She even would get mad at my Gram thinking she was stealing her man! They always held hands, you could tell she felt like she won the jackpot when she married him! She gave such a example of how to love your spouse.
My heart has been so torn to lose such such an amazing part of my “pack”. I am sure not as torn as Grandpa to lose his other half.
It is amazing, I know that my children have had the chance to meet and remember there Great-Great Grandparents. My son was amazing and stood and read the bible at his Great-Great Grandma’s service. I have never been more proud of him then that day. Minnie stood at the door and handed out the programs, they were both so grown up. There Great-Great-Grandma would of been so proud.
Holidays are weird, I want to wrap up my Gram so she does not have to feel this Christmas with out her Mom. I Hate that this is the first time I have to send a card to just Great Grandpa…. But I am so happy for Great Grandma that she is with Jesus for his birthday….
So that’s the positive. Great Grandma is singing with the angels on Christmas to our Lord.